It is too hot today
by Zork the Unbearable
Summary: It is just too hot to write a summary. Both here and at the SGC


Blah blah blah I have no idea what this story is going to be about, except there will be Stargate in it. I have no ideas here people help out. Hmmmmmmmm write from experience ok what's happening here? Um 40 degrees Celsius, very high humidity, ban on power usage including air conditioners, pool filters, lights, cooking appliances etc. Damn it's hot hot hot. Hmmmmmmmm SGC's temperature skyrockets, power over loads, people dying of heat exhaustion? Sounds good.  
  
By the way I don't own Stargate or anything else around here, I'm just borrowing them and playing with them and holding them hostage until Richard Dean Anderson signs on to do another season, why must he leave to be with his family? It was bad enough when Michael Shanks left! Whyyyyyyyy Why? Why why why? At least he came back  
  


* * *

  


* * *

  
'General Hammond Sir, incoming wormhole.'  
  
'Who is it Sergeant?'  
  
'It's SG-1'  
  
In the gate room, soldiers in full fatigues are lying dead on the ground, SG-1 are looking around bewildered.  
  
'Carter why are there dead soldiers in the gate room?'  
  
'Colonel, I believe it has something to do with their full fatigues and this heat and humidity.'  
  
'Oh I guess that's why Daniel just fell over too?'  
  
'Um, sir maybe we should move out of here and get some where cooler?'  
  
'I shall bring Daniel Jackson'  
  
'Yeah you do that Teal'c'  
  
(an: Its not even 10am and I'm sweating ahhhhhhhhhhhh, stupid house being so hot. Well at least Uni. doesn't start till next week, hehehe school students at school. Mwahahahahaha)  
  
Debriefing Room  
  
'SG-1 since you left we have had a breakdown of our air conditioning and humidity control, and it seems we have no way of getting to the surface because the security detected problems with the temperature and has locked us in, we have also been suffering power outs and the phone lines are down.'  
  
'So basically General, there is no way to stop this heat and humidity, we have to endure it and there's no air conditioning?'  
  
'Oh dear god'  
  
'It's too hot'  
  
'Indeed'  
  
Later in the commissary  
  
'Janet'  
  
'Yes Sam?'  
  
'Want to have a swim in a blow up pool filled with Jello? It's blue jello incase you didn't know'  
  
'Yes yes I do!'  
  
'Well come on, I know Jack and Daniel have a blow up pool somewhere, I've read their diaries they keep it in the freezer.'  
  
'Hey we could swim in frozen jello!'  
  
'Don't tell anyone, other wise it will be like that episode in M*A*S*H where Hawkeye and BJ get that bathtub and they try to keep it a secret, but the whole camp finds out. And we don't want that to happen.'  
  
In O'Neill's quarters  
  
'Danny, T it seems that we can't have any air con on so we have too take drastic action.'  
  
'What have you planned O'Neill?'  
  
'We have to raid the needle ladies place.'  
  
'You mean Doc Fraiser's?'  
  
'Yes Danny, your favorite doctor'  
  
'So why are we raiding Janet's'  
  
'She has ice packs hidden somewhere there'  
  
'Indeed, I have required use of them before.'  
  
'So Jack tell us your military plan and I'll apply so logic to it'  
  
'What is that supposed to mean Space monkey?'  
  
'Nothing, so what's the plan?'  
  
'First we distract Janet and the other medical personal'  
  
'That's easy, Janet and Sam are swimming in frozen blue jello, to get rid of the other med staff we just tell them about that. Um Teal'c where did Jack go?'  
  
'To implicate your distraction plan I believe.'  
  
'Well all the more ice packs for us'  
  
'Indeed'  
  
(an: I actually slept with an ice pack last night, it was so nice I wasn't even sweating. Oh god my legs are sticking together and my eyeballs are sweating too! Help somebody please take me somewhere where it snows, I've never seen snow! Oh I'm dying here! Oh know I have training tonight, I'm going to die of heat exhaustion! So I shall make the SGC suffer! Mwahahahahahahahaha mwahahahahahahaha!)  
  
Some corridor somewhere  
  
'Colonel, I want to talk to you in my office'  
  
'Sure thing General'  
  
General Hammond's Office  
  
'Take a seat Jack, I was just looking for some one to share my ice goa'uld'  
  
'Your what?'  
  
'The chief froze flavored ice in the shape of a goa'uld'  
  
'Why?'  
  
'I expect he wanted to spend more time in the freezer, with Major Carter and Dr Fraiser'  
  
'Oh, sure thing General I'll share your ice goa'uld'  
  
'Good, do you want the head or the tail?'  
  
'Well, I think I'll have the tail I think it's less dangerous that way.'  
  
*Thud, clank, whine, various machine noise*  
  
'What was that colonel?'  
  
'Is it getting cooler in here?'  
  
'Why, the air conditioning is back on'  
  
'The humidity is dropping!'  
  
'I think our heat and humidity wave is over!'  
  
'About time too'  
  


* * *

  
And so ends this episode, but the heat wave continues here, I just stopped feeling because I have an ice pack on my head, but its melting quite quickly so I should leave this keyboard before the dripping water shorts it out. Stupid heat, ah my cola bottle lollies they melted, melted why why did they melt? Please someone pay for me to go to a snowy country, snow some snow, my kingdom for some snow!  
  
Oh and also review cause it makes me smile, and I write more when your review. Remember:  
  
Your reviews are keeping me off the streets.  
  
Zork the Unbearable! 


End file.
